During the wedding reception, many brides and grooms ask one or more people to propose toasts. This can be the best man, maid of honor, father of the bride, or anyone else who has something to say. It's important to be prepared beforehand, or you can wind up with some embarrassing moments, like things you wouldn't want your grandmother to hear.

Question: How Should the Toasts Be Handled? Is there supposed to be a specific order for a bridal toast?

Answer:

If you want people to make toasts during the wedding reception, be very clear and ask people to do the honor of saying a few words. You can have them speak in any order, but it's a good idea to follow tradition in order to prevent hard feelings. Typically, the father of the bride speaks first. The best man and maid of honor generally follow. The bride and groom should not drink to toasts in their own honor.

Others, including groomsmen and bridesmaids, may want to toast the bride and groom. This is up to the wedding couple, based on how much time and other items on the agenda. It's always a good idea to discuss this in advance so there are no surprises that might embarrass the bride, groom, their families, or the person who wants to propose a toast.

Sometimes the groom and bride choose to toast their family and friends. After all, they have gotten the love and support to this point, and they want to honor those who remain true and loyal. One or both may do the toast.

Ideally, all toasts should be kept short, and the people speaking should be sensitive to everyone in attendance.

In order to make sure the person toasting doesn't get too longwinded, it is perfectly fine for the bride or groom to give each person a maximum amount of time to speak.

Here are some specific tips to make a wedding toast interesting and acceptable:

• Before you speak, find out if there are any cultural differences that you need to consider during your toast. 
• Make sure the guests know who you are. If you are not introduced, state your name and your relationship to the couple.
• Be unconventional. For example, you can have the best man say a few words about the bride or the father of the bride toast the groom.
• Before mentioning something that happened before the couple met, clear it with the bride or groom. This is not the time to talk about their wild antics before they met, unless they tell you it's okay.
• Keep it clean. Most weddings have several generations in attendance, and you don't want to send someone into shock.
• Thank the person or people who are hosting the wedding.
• Say something nice about the couple, but you don't have to overdo it. 
• Always end the toast with a positive comment.

Examples of things you can say during the toast:

• "I'll never forget what Brian said after he met Susan. He told me he'd just met his future bride."
• "Both of them have such an adventurous spirit, I have no doubt their life will be filled with fun and surprises."
• "I can't wait to tell their children about the first time their dad played golf (or other sport)." Then tell a funny anecdote about the experience.
• "It'll be fun watching these two people grow old together. They'll earn every wrinkle and gray hair, I'm sure."
• "The love these two people share is obvious in the way they look at each other."
• May the two of you continue to live life to the fullest, laugh at life's funny moments, and love each other to the max."