How to Coach a Daughter's Sports Team
- 1). Work together to set some rules for interacting on the playing field. There may be certain speech patterns that your daughter enjoys in private, such as the pet name "snuggle bum," that she may prefer you keep off the field. You may want her to call you "Coach" like the rest of the children, or she may wish to do so in order to blend in. You should not let this hurt your feelings, as it is simply an instinctive response in most girls to want to fit in with their friends.
- 2). Establish a code for behavior and discipline. As your daughter's coach, you will be responsible for her actions on the playing field, but as her parent, you are also responsible--to some extent--for her behavior. Preteen girls often have an elaborate set of rules by which they interact with each other and not all of the behavior is as courteous and kind as a parent might wish. However, you may need to set a secret code for subtle reprimands so that you do not embarrass your daughter in front of her friends, who are not being supervised by their parents.
- 3). Treat her equally. Many parents who coach tend to actually be harder on their own children than they are on the other members of the team. This is because they are coaching as coaches, but also thinking like parents who want to see their children do their best. Actively monitor how often you praise, critique or reprimand your daughter--after all, she will be doing the same. Every time you do one of these things, try to do the same to another child as well so that your daughter does not feel unfairly singled out. You can layer on the praise on the way home when she will appreciate the attention but not be so attuned to what other people are thinking about her.
- 4). Set aside regular, one-on-one practice times. Just like any other parent, you will want to practice with your daughter. However, she may view team practices as enough practice since she is spending them with you. The two of you should work together to set a time and length for regular practice where you can get all of your parent-coaching out of your system before you move back into being just her coach for formal practice.
- 5). Praise whenever possible. This should not just be true for your daughter, but for everyone on the team. If you praise their efforts every time they do a good job, they will know you are watching them and appreciate their efforts. Also, it will free you up to praise your daughter also without making it look like you are favoring her.
- 6). Don't hesitate. Many parents elect not to coach a team for fear of embarrassing their daughters. However, this can actually be a great chance to bond with your daughter and create memories. Let her know--without compromising your authority--that you understand that coaching is different than parenting and that you will do your best to coach her rather than parent her while she is on the field. Generally, this is not a decision that you should allow her to make for you, but rather something that you should treat as an exciting event that is not up for negotiation. She will fall in with the excitement once she is sure that you will not embarrass her on the field.
Source...