I love parent-teacher nights.
I worked for seven years as a music specialist in an art-based school.
The students and the parents were generally pretty cool.
They were also great communicators.
But even I had my challenging students and for some reason all of their parents seemed to come to parent-teachers night at around the same time!.
Here I was in my classroom, waiting again for that special time of the onslaught of parents.
Each one with their allotted time.
Each one entering my class room as though entering the cave where Bigfoot was laying in wait for them and yet here I was...
the music teacher.
Well, OK.
No one was really dreading coming to see me.
In fact the more "colorful" students insisted that their parents came to see me so they could hear something good about themselves.
This is not always the case.
Honestly, a lot of people get a lot out of these meetings but if you are having problems in a given class, parent-teacher night is not as pleasant as some would have your believe.
For those people we see parents afraid of what they might hear or concerned about their child not being given his or her proper due and teachers waiting for the confrontations and the inquisitions.
So how do two sets of people who want nothing more than the best for these students end up sometimes on opposite sides? It comes down to two things: Time and Mindset With all the work that it takes to raise a child today, carpools, transportation, homework, after-school activities, feeding and watering, social events along with work, family and the odd furry friend, most parents have little time for anything that isn't in need of immediate attention.
This makes it difficult to hear anything above the din of daily life.
Great marks and bad marks get the only attention left after everything else going on in the day.
We have to wonder, what did they do before their were two cars in each family..
...
what did they do before there were cars? Our teachers are in the same boat (if your boat is a Hyundai Elantra).
With all of these kids multi-tasked out and very little room for most subjects in their video-besotted brains, how does a teacher make sure that the work beyond the classroom is getting the hippocampus hopping.
How does the teacher make an impression that will be heard above the din of domesticity in the 21^st century?  Some would say: "never underestimate the power of the big red marker.
" (In truth, I never use one) Well, the teacher now has the attention of the parents, it is parent-teacher night and the whole big red marker crowd suggests that this is not going to be all that much fun.
In these times when concerns are being raised on both sides, may I suggest that both parties come from a mindset of being open to listening.
Start your conversation with what is good.

• Parents: start with things you've noticed your child had picked up from the class.
  
• Teachers: something that their child has done that shows a glimpse into the best of what they are becoming.
  

Then one at a time, take the time to listen to what are the challenges.
Keep an open mind and leave defenses in the yard.
What will happen is the beginning of a team.
Both there to appreciate what works and to find a game plan for improvement.
No one knows your child the way you do and no one watches them learn as much as their teacher.
Approach each other as fellow experts in your own ways of the wonderful world of teenage years.
This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.