I suffer occasionally from anxiety and it seems I'm in good company because so many of my friends do, too. In this article, I share how I learned to calm myself down when in the middle of a panic -- also called "anxiety" -- attack.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety symptoms differ from person to person, but may include a racing mind, a pounding heart, dizziness, an all-over feeling of "being just not right" and what one friend describes as a "jitteriness." When I have anxiety, my heart races and I feel as if I should be rushed to a hospital because I'm on the verge of dying.

It's no fun, to say the least. For some people, symptoms last just minutes, for others they can last hours.

What Causes Anxiety?

Anything that causes stress can trigger an anxiety attack. I had my first panic attack the day I put my beloved dog of 8 years to sleep. It was hours after and I was doing relatively well (he had been sick with liver disease for much of his life, so his death was a relief to him and to me), but all of a sudden, I was hit with an overwhelming feeling that I was having a heart attack. Thankfully, I was surrounded by nurses who told me I was having a panic attack.

Years later, panic attacks struck again and scared me so much I once went to the ER of my local hospital. After many tests that showed nothing, a disgruntled nurse who clearly thought I didn't belong in the ER dismissively told me, "You're having an anxiety attack."

It was all I need to hear to calm down and relax. I wasn't dying after all. Once I learned that I was suffering from something I could try to control, the panic attacks slowly subsided and I no longer get them.

Maybe it's because we live in an era where we're totally connected 24/7 via our cell phones and the Internet and it's hard to disconnect from the overall zaniness of life. Maybe it's because as women we're trying to fit a mold society expects of us (dream careers, dream husband, dream kids) while also trying to remain true to ourselves. Whatever the case, anxiety attacks can be scary.

How to Calm Yourself Down

To calm myself down, I use a method I learned from a renowned therapist a few years ago. It really works to sloooooooooooooow my thoughts, my heart and my breathing:

1. First, come up with what the therapist refers to as "a safe place." This is where you will go within your mind (I know it sounds hokey, and a bit New Age-y but bear with me). It should be an actual place you've been that you associate with calmness and peacefulness. It may be you lying on a beach as the surf rolls in and out, or it could be you bundled up in a blanket on a deck overlooking a mountain range. For me, my safe place is scene I actually witnessed years ago -- poolside at the fitness spa Rancho La Puerta, wrapped in a towel and lying in a chair as a woman does laps in the pool.
2. Sit upright in a chair with your feet firmly planted on the ground, hands palms down, one on each leg.
3. Close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths.
4. Go to your "safe place" in your head. Imagine you are physically there. Feel as your body relaxes.
5. Pat your thighs with your hands in a rhythmic way as if you were the percussive section of an orchestra and it's up to you to keep the beat. You want to do 20 pats. (I know this also sounds hokey, but the rhythm is important for regulating your breaths, your thoughts and your hearbeat).
6. Take a couple more deep breaths. Slowly open your eyes.

I have done this method in public, particularly on planes, and no one seems to notice. It's a quick way to calm yourself down and you won't really bring attention to yourself with it since your eyes are literally only closed for a few minutes.

More on anxiety:

6 Anxiety Disorders Defined
The Symptoms of Panic Disorder
What Causes Panic Disorder?