Protecting Children Against Abduction by Strangers

• 1). Children have always been taught to stay away from strangers. "Stranger danger" is the operative phrase. Such an expression can give children the misconception that all strangers are bad. The concept of "stranger" is difficult for children to understand, and often the perpetrator is someone the child knows. It is more constructive to help build children's confidence, help them determine whom they should and should not trust, and teach them how to respond to potentially dangerous situations.
  
  Start by eliminating the phrase "stranger danger." Teach your children to think of categories of people. The first two categories include people they don't know at all and people they kind of know or have seen before. The third category includes people that you, as a parent, know well and trust to be around your children. Teach your children to treat the first two categories as strangers and to use caution, even though those people may be safe. Teach them to trust only the third category of adults.
  
  
• 2). Provide your children with a list of at least three safe adults, in addition to you, they can depend on in an emergency. The list should include the safe adults' telephone numbers and addresses, and it should be kept with the child at all times.
  
  
• 3). Share with your children a secret code word that they can use to test a stranger whose word they doubt. A secret code word should be something that the child can remember easily, but would not be guessed by strangers, such as "abracadabra" or something similar. The secret code word is just to be shared between parent and child.
  
  If a stranger claims to have been sent by a child's parents to pick him up, or something similar, and the child is doubtful or suspicious about it, the child should ask the secret code word. If the stranger does not know the secret word, the child should get away from the stranger immediately and call his parents or one of his safe adults.
  
  Know where your children are at all times, and get to know their friends and the parents of their friends.
  
  
• 4). Never leave your young children home alone. The National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no children under the age of 12 be left home alone. If they are of the appropriate age to be left home alone, instruct them to avoid letting anyone who calls or comes to the door know that they are alone.
  
  
• 5). You should always accompany your children on door-to-door activities, such as trick-or-treating or school sales campaigns.
  
  
• 6). Never leave your children unattended in a shopping mall, public place or automobile. Devise a plan with your children so that they will always know what they should do if they get separated from you in a mall or public place. Teach your children the buddy system. Never allow them to walk to or from school or the playground alone.
  
  
• 7). Avoid labeling the outside of your children's clothing or backpacks with their names. Predators who see a child's name on his clothing or backpack often use the name as a tactic to gain the child's trust.
  
  
• 8). Teach your children the common predator lures, such as asking for directions; asking for help to find a lost pet; promising the child candy, money or gifts to accompany him somewhere; and threatening to harm family members if the child does not comply. Teach them that, if they hear such lures, it is time to get away immediately.
  
  
• 9). Teach your children Internet safety --- to never share personal information or photographs over the Internet, and to never trust or arrange to meet anyone they meet in a chat room. An even safer precaution would be to control access by choosing an Internet service provider or purchasing software that allows you to block sites that you deem inappropriate for your children.
  
  
• 10
  
  Keep informed of potentially dangerous people who may live near you. The Resources section of this article has links to websites where you can get data on convicted sex offenders, including maps of your community that show where registered sex offenders reside.
  
  
• 11
  
  Review and practice with your children safety precautions, self-defense strategies, and ways to escape from or call attention to a predator who has attempted to lure or abduct them. The Resources section of this article lists websites that teach children such precautions and self-defense techniques.
  
  
• 12
  
  Keep recent photographs of your children. Maintain child identification kits of your children's physical characteristics and fingerprints. Photographs and child identification kits are important tools to help law enforcement locate a missing child.