You'll Save a Bundle, But Will You Lose Your Mind? Of all the expenses for your big party and special day, the biggest by far is the catering.
So we shop hard for the best deal and then - when it's still too much - we just suck it up and pay, right? Because, what other choice is there? Well, I set out to find out if there might actually BE another choice.
To see if catering your own mega-party is reasonably simple, or just plain insane.
By the end of this article, you'll know what's right for you and, if you decide to do your own catering, you'll have a good list of mistakes (mine) to avoid! Self-Catering Was Not a New Idea to Me I should say upfront that I've had self-catering on my mind for a while and I even wrote about it (in my bar mitzvah / bat mitzvah planning book, "MitzvahChic").
But I never flew completely solo when it came to my own parties.
When it was time to plan the bat mitzvah of my third and last child, though, I thought this is it - it's now or never.
The economy really cooperated.
Things had gotten so bad, it actually seemed kind of reasonable to be thinking "Sure I can do the food myself - how hard could it be?" Looking back on that now, I can only say - LOL! So here now, in a simple list, are the things you should know, consider and weigh carefully before you leap.
We loved our party, first-time-catering bumps and all, but this approach is definitely not for everybody.
The Party Overview

• There were 120 guests and about half were young teenagers.
  

• There were cocktails for an hour with about 6 appetizers - 3 cold and 3 in chafing dishes, which I bought cheaply on eBay but I could easily have rented.
  

• The bar was self-serve.
  There was a table of non-alcoholic drinks - soda and water - and another with beer, hard lemonade and wine.
  We kept the tables widely separated to keep the kids from being able to "accidentally" grab hard lemonade.
  But I think one of them did anyway.
  Hey, you know who you are!

• I didn't hire a bartender because there was nothing to mix or pour.
  But, that was a mistake because we should have had someone keeping the tables clean, re-stocking, and watching those sneaky kids.
  

• Once everyone was in the dining room, there was Pellegrino water on the adult tables and the kids tables had pitchers of Shirley Temples, light-up cocktail glasses, and bar set-ups - cocktail fruit for decorating their drinks.
  

• The cocktail hour dishes and adult buffet were constructed out of bulk items purchased from a big box store (frozen classic hors d'oeuvres, romaine lettuce and croutons for Caesar salad) and wonderful freshly made food trays ordered from several stores and restaurants.
  

What Was Great

• We fed everyone handsomely for a tiny fraction of the cost of catering.
  

• For self-catering to work, all the food has to be self-serve and it's best if most of it can be served at room temperature.
  Otherwise, it's got to be in chafing dishes on the buffet.
  

• We ordered the best dishes from local restaurants / stores: fruit and vegetable trays from Whole Foods; sushi from the local Korean supermarket, Greek appetizers and fresh grilled garlic pita from a Greek restaurant, filet mignon sandwiches, freshly tossed homemade salads, and gourmet eggplant parmesan pizza.
  So everything - even though it wasn't fancy - was the best version of itself.
  

• If you want to use pretty serving trays - give them to the store or restaurant ahead of time so the food won't need any pimping once you pick it up.
  

• Our party felt more like a village festival than a stuffy affair.
  I love when everyone's involved and guests like it too.
  It's liberating when things aren't so formal.
  

• The party also had a warm spirit and spontaneity that we loved.
  If you're trying to achieve grandeur, though, this might not be the right plan.
  

• We were able to use items that reflected our values, like disposable bamboo plates that were eco-friendly and gorgeous.
  

• We effortlessly did fun things that a caterer would have charged plenty for - like I bought frozen balls of chocolate chip cookie dough at the big box store and had the servers pop them in the oven while they were setting up the dessert and coffee table.
  Some young guests volunteered to take the warm cookies around to the guest tables.
  Fun!

What Was Hard

• Catering your own party is a lot of work and a mountain of details.
  Don't even attempt it unless you're super detail oriented or have a friend or associate with those qualities who's going to project manage.
  

• You have to rent or bring every plate, glass, utensil, serving piece, oven mitt, tray, cleaning sponge and pot, and you have to create a layout for how the buffet tables should be arranged.
  That's so your servers know how to set them up and you order enough service tables and tablecloths.
  

• You will have to find a venue that allows outside caterers to come in, and even then, they may fight with you about catering your own party.
  That's because they typically get a kickback from the caterer - you may have to pay them a per-head amount to compensate.
  And they will probably require your servers to have insurance.
  

• You need to find a very organized team of servers to heat up the food, set up the buffets, toss the salads, serve, replenish and clean up.
  They need to be able to work by themselves (you'll be busy hosting the party) and solve any of the problems that always happen.
  

• Don't hire a bunch of individuals off Craigslist for the servers - find a service where the staff is used to working together.
  I knew a mom who runs a business like this and they're very experienced.
  Still, there were things that didn't go as planned and that will happen to you too.
  So if you're the kind of person who will grieve for months if something non-life-threatening goes wrong, don't consider self-catering.
  

• Instead of relaxing the afternoon before my daughter's evening bat mitzvah service, we were running around picking up the food, groceries, cake, drinks, and ice and schlepping everything to the venue.
  Do yourself a favor - hire some reliable drivers to do that.
  Or let your serving team handle that too.
  

By catering our own party, we saved thousands of dollars and - now that I've recovered - I can honestly say it was fun.
Just be sure to find reliable people and delegate everything.
Then you can be free to enjoy your party, which will be ten times more fun every time you remember it's costing you a fraction of what everyone else has to pay.