One-On-One Time With Your Child Can Reduce Sibling Rivalry
When we were expecting our twins, we reminisced about our own childhoods.
To be sure, we had fun "family" memories of dinners, holidays and some "regular" events that seem special when looking back (e.
g.
, Friday at-home family movie night).
However, we also remembered many special memories when we had one parent's attention all to ourselves.
So before our children were born, we committed to the idea of parent-child days/activities (ie.
, daddy/daughter, mommy/daughter).
With twins, we were particularly sensitive about developing each child as an individual, getting to know them for who they are, not just for being twins/siblings.
One-on-one time fosters this relationship building between parent and child (whether you have one child or 10).
According to child development researchers, one-on-one time can help develop confidence and self-esteem.
Other research has shown that spending special time with your child individually can improve the relationship between siblings and reduce sibling rivalry.
This one-on-one time also leads to improved parent-child communication channels as they get older (ie.
, the teenage years mentioned in last week's video blog), where this time together can be particularly vital.
There are three simple steps to this process: •Schedule the time: This one-on-one time as you would any other important appointment, perhaps on the family calendar.
Once scheduled, it is critical to keep the appointment as it reflects on the importance of the child.
This one-on-one time should never be taken away as punishment for bad behavior; that would send the message that your time with your child is conditional.
Based on the family's other time commitments and number of children, these sessions could be weekly, monthly, etc.
Of course, spontaneous one-on-one activities are always welcome as well.
•Pick an activity you both enjoy: By choosing something you both enjoy, it will be both more fun and more likely to continue over time.
One suggestion is to ask your child to list some of their favorite activities and select one together.
It does not need to be expensive, nor does it need to be a full day of activities.
It can be just a trip to the bagel shop, bath routine, walk around the block, or simply going somewhere to talk and listen.
•No interruptions: The last step is to avoid all interruptions; this means no calls, no texting, and no distractions.
Your child must know that they are the only priority during this one-on-one time.
There are unlimited options for these one-on-one activities, but the one key is that you consistently allocate this time with your children to connect - talk, listen and have fun.
(Editor's Note: The opinions are not medical advice.
Always consult your pediatrician about any changes you are contemplating.
)
To be sure, we had fun "family" memories of dinners, holidays and some "regular" events that seem special when looking back (e.
g.
, Friday at-home family movie night).
However, we also remembered many special memories when we had one parent's attention all to ourselves.
So before our children were born, we committed to the idea of parent-child days/activities (ie.
, daddy/daughter, mommy/daughter).
With twins, we were particularly sensitive about developing each child as an individual, getting to know them for who they are, not just for being twins/siblings.
One-on-one time fosters this relationship building between parent and child (whether you have one child or 10).
According to child development researchers, one-on-one time can help develop confidence and self-esteem.
Other research has shown that spending special time with your child individually can improve the relationship between siblings and reduce sibling rivalry.
This one-on-one time also leads to improved parent-child communication channels as they get older (ie.
, the teenage years mentioned in last week's video blog), where this time together can be particularly vital.
There are three simple steps to this process: •Schedule the time: This one-on-one time as you would any other important appointment, perhaps on the family calendar.
Once scheduled, it is critical to keep the appointment as it reflects on the importance of the child.
This one-on-one time should never be taken away as punishment for bad behavior; that would send the message that your time with your child is conditional.
Based on the family's other time commitments and number of children, these sessions could be weekly, monthly, etc.
Of course, spontaneous one-on-one activities are always welcome as well.
•Pick an activity you both enjoy: By choosing something you both enjoy, it will be both more fun and more likely to continue over time.
One suggestion is to ask your child to list some of their favorite activities and select one together.
It does not need to be expensive, nor does it need to be a full day of activities.
It can be just a trip to the bagel shop, bath routine, walk around the block, or simply going somewhere to talk and listen.
•No interruptions: The last step is to avoid all interruptions; this means no calls, no texting, and no distractions.
Your child must know that they are the only priority during this one-on-one time.
There are unlimited options for these one-on-one activities, but the one key is that you consistently allocate this time with your children to connect - talk, listen and have fun.
(Editor's Note: The opinions are not medical advice.
Always consult your pediatrician about any changes you are contemplating.
)
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