Divorce is something no one imagines will really happen to them.
That is one reason why having a life after divorce seems unthinkable and hard to imagine.
You believed you would be with your spouse for the rest of your life, only to now try and figure out how to live your life without them.
Divorce is a tremendous life change which can leave one confused, hurt, and lonely.
Though this is painful, there is hope after a divorce if you keep these valuable tips in mind: Don't live in the past Of course it is enjoyable to recall the lovely days of your marriage and the good times you and your former spouse shared, but don't become obsessed with the past life of your marriage.
Live in the future, count your blessings, and be grateful that because you once were in love and committed that there's a wonderful chance of love and commitment coming into your life with another person.
Stop the negative talk Often times when people are first dealing with life after divorce, they proclaim to the world that their life is over and that they will never find love again or they are forever damaged goods because of divorce.
Stop! You must immediately stop the negative talk that goes on inside the mind and change it to something positive that will be of benefit to your self-esteem.
Instead of thinking or saying that your life is over think that a new wonderful life is beginning for you.
Say out loud that a new wonderful love is just waiting to find you instead of having the mindset that you will never find love again.
Instead of labeling yourself as damaged goods, label yourself for what you really are: an experienced man or woman who has benefited from the love that has been in your life.
After having the courage to accept your new life after divorce, it is time to move on to a better, fuller life.
Make a plan Now that you're divorced you must plan for life as a single person.
You can begin by determining a budget for yourself with income and expenses.
Next is determining your financial situation in your newly single life.
Talk to your children Discuss with your children their feelings and questions around the divorce around their parents.
Remember, you are not the only one hurting.
Let them know it is okay to feel sad, and stress that the divorce was not their fault.
Reiterate that you and your ex-spouse will always be their parents and love them.
Be an example for them by letting them know that you can remain there for them in spite of hard times.
Get support Surround yourself with friends and family who you can lean on in your life after divorce.
Remember that it is okay to ask for help, or an encouraging word.
Make sure that you include professionals such as therapists, counselors, support groups, and spiritual leaders on your support team.
Make time for you It is imperative that you make time that is just for you.
In your marriage you probably did not think twice about making time to do things that your spouse wanted to do.
Now it's your turn.
This could mean gardening, exercising, reading a book, or traveling.
Whatever it takes, make sure you honor yourself by giving yourself the time you normally give to others.
This is not a luxury; it is a necessity to keep you balanced, thriving and happy.