Sexually transmitted diseases continue to plague the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The CDC estimates that nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur annually in the United States.

While half of those infected are age 15 to 24, some of the diseases have long-term effects. Many more cases are never detected. In fact, undiagnosed STDs cause 24,000 women to become infertile every year, according to CDC estimates.


You can get more information on the prevalence, prevention, and treatment of STDs from Elizabeth Boskey, the About.com Expert on Sexually Transmitted Diseases. 

While some healthcare workers are expressing concern over an alarming increase in syphilis, more young people who have contracted various STDs are growing up and getting married. Having an STD in a committed relationship poses some challenges, but they are not always impossible to overcome.  

One Wife's Story

 

Kelly Martin Schuh was in her early 20s, when she jetted abroad to celebrate her college graduation. What was supposed to be a getaway turned into five months of exploring. "I was in a dreamy place, where everything was wonderful," says Schuh. 

On Christmas Eve in Nepal, Schuh was feeling homesick and did some drinking with a friend. One thing led to another, and the two ended up having sex, she says. Her partner had a cold sore on his lip, but he performed oral sex on her anyway. When she reached Kathmandu, Schuh was diagnosed with herpes, which she has had to manage ever since, she says.

 

"At the time, I thought no one would love me again, and I would never bear children naturally," says Schuh. "But I've learned to live with it." 

Indeed, she is happily married and delivered her daughter naturally five years ago. As founder of PinkTent.com, a virtual community of women supporting women with herpes, Schuh says she has made it her mission to help people realize that life goes on after an STD diagnosis. 

 

Tips for Managing an STD in Marriage

 

• Talk openly about sex and your STD with your spouse. Communication is again the key to overcoming a challenge to your marriage. You have a moral obligation to disclose your STD to anyone with whom you are intimate (which should only be your spouse nowadays, unless you're in an open marriage). Presumably you've shared your medical history, including your STD diagnosis, with your spouse already. After you're married, you have to keep up the dialogue and talk about management of your disease, sex, and the health and wellness of your relationship, suggests Schuh.

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• Figure out your sex life. "A partner who is truly supportive will find a way to work with you and integrate the diagnosis into a healthy sex life," writes Kat Van Kirk, a licensed marriage and sex therapist and the resident expert at AdamandEve.com, in an e-mail. She suggests couples get educated about the disease with which they are dealing. Then, they can make smart choices about how to proceed with sex. "It may include barrier protection like condoms, it may mean focusing on other play like oral and masturbation, or like with herpes, you may choose to be monogamous and avoid contact just prior to and during outbreaks only," she adds. "Some long-term monogamous couples will simply monitor their health and have unprotected sex."  Of course, your decisions should be based on medical facts and the specific disease you have. HIV, which has no cure and can lead to AIDS, which can be deadly, is very different from herpes, which is a skin disease that causes discomfort but shouldn't kill you. Your best bet is to consult a qualified physician before making a strategy for your sex life. 

 

• Realize a post-marriage STD diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean cheating. Some STDs, such as herpes and Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), can remain dormant for years. This means even if your spouse gets diagnosed after you say, "I do," he or she may have contracted the disease from a partner years earlier, before your courtship even. So, before you quit the marriage or feel betrayed, get educated about your situation.  

 

• Make your health a top priority. The health of your spouse and you should be top of mind at all times. That's the main reason why you have to remain open about your STD, keep conversation flowing, and take precautions when necessary. Forget the stigma and spread the love. Realize that you're not alone. "Most people do not realize how common STD diagnosis is," writes Van Kirk. "For instance, over 70 percent of the population has one of 60 some HPV strains. Viruses like HPV, Hep C, herpes and HIV will be lifelong management issues that the couple will need to negotiate together."