This week I met with a new family whose daughter has some behavioral difficulties.
She came into my office and the first few minutes were a bit rocky.
My goal for the session was to have the child play with me for a bit without protest, as this would be good progress for this child in her first session.
And we achieved that goal.
I was pleased, the child was happy, but as they were leaving, the parents said to me, "Did you make any progress?" In my opinion and the child's experience, we made progress.
She went from not knowing me from a hole in the wall, to playing nicely with me on the floor.
Next time we will progress to another small goal and build our relationship and keep reaching for more independence and change.
But I can understand the parent's question.
They are hoping that we will make change quickly, that I have some sort of miracle intervention that is going to help their daughter, and relieve their family of some of the stress they feel.
I wish it were that easy.
In our culture and media, we are bombarded by the message that sadness and difficulty can be "cured" by pills and prescriptions.
We want change quickly and are taught to expect almost instant improvement.
The reality is that to make lasting, life long change we need to take our time, take it slow and watch positive growth emerge.
Change takes time.
Change takes trust.
Change takes risk.
Change takes consistency.
Change takes patience and empathy and celebrating small steps and little victories.
It isn't easy to change and grow and try new things.
Be patient with your child and with yourself as you work together to make change in your family.