It's easy to believe that most of the marriages that end in divorce do so because one partner was selfish, disloyal, or mean.
When it comes to divorce, the blame game is all too common.
However, infidelity, money, and abuse are not the only main causes for divorce.
In fact, most marriages end because one or both partners were either unclear or unrealistic in their expectations.
The top causes of divorce are unrealistic expectations, miscommunication in expectations, sexual incompatibility or infidelity, and financial issues.
Unrealistic Expectations: It is a common belief that fairy tales and romances have given women an idealized version of marriage.
While this is true to a point, there are a number of other places people get unrealistic expectations about marriage.
Parents often hide the truth about their marriage from their children.
While this can help in terms of making a child feel safe, it can lead the child to believe that their parents never disagree or fight.
When a person spends the majority of their life watching a relationship that never appears to have any difficulties, he or she is more likely to cut and run as soon as their own relationship becomes difficult.
It is important for people to understand that every relationship has its problems.
If they understand this from the beginning, they are much less likely to have a marriage that ends in divorce.
Miscommunication Expectations: When asked about the future, many people can give you an idea of what they expect their life to be like in the next five years.
A few even have an idea of what they expect out of life in the next ten years.
Yet the same people without a solid plan for the future feel they know enough about their significant other to make a lifetime commitment.
When you don't know what you want out of life, you can't expect to effectively communicate that to another person.
If you feel you are ready to get married, first look at your expectations for life.
Do you plan to live in the same town or move away? Do you want to travel? What about kids? Knowing and communicating these expectations can make the difference between a happy marriage and one that ends in divorce.
Sexual Incompatibility or Infidelity: Sexual incompatibility is one of the biggest causes of divorce.
People often look at their sexuality as something that should be kept as private as possible.
While most are willing to share basic wants and needs with their partner, people tend to hide away anything that they feel might be strange or different.
Without being open about sexuality, a couple can't expect to be fulfilled in their marriage.
This can lead to a lack of intimacy, infidelity, and eventually divorce.
Financial Issues: While it is common to have disagreements over financial issues, these problems can escalate to the point of divorce.
In marriage, proper communication and compromise are important, especially where money is concerned.
If one partner frequently spends more or less than the other partner feels they should, resentment can build.
As with sexual expectations, financial expectations should be discussed before making a lifetime commitment.
If you expect your partner to make a certain amount, put aside a certain percentage, or commit to living a certain financial lifestyle, be sure to make this clear before marriage.
If you are already married, there is still time to make your expectations clear.
However, it is important to remember that your partner or spouse will have expectations of their own.
When it comes to marriage, communication is key in all aspects of life.
When making a lifetime commitment, know and understand the expectations of yourself and your partner and you will have a much larger chance of success.