A boyfriend and girlfriend breakup is never pleasant.
In most cases, it is usually quite simple to see the breakup coming.
But that notwithstanding, when the breakup finally takes place, one is left with lots of hurt feelings - a broken heart, some call it.
Of course, that they are in pain after their breakup is something that many of us are too egotistical to admit.
We love to convince ourselves that we are emotionally resilient people; people who can let go quite easily.
Yet somewhere in the back of our hearts, the pain lingers, often manifesting through questions like "what did I do wrong?", "what could I have done better?"...
and so on.
It is with regard to this pain which is part of most boyfriend and girlfriend breakup incidences then that we talk about "healing".
And as with all forms of psychological healing, it is a process, or what many psychologists like to refer to as a "journey.
" Indeed, depending on the intensity of the relationship you had, it is a healing process that could last a lifetime.
The first step to healing after a major breakup, as indeed healing after most other major forms of psychological pain is acceptance.
This is all about accepting the situation and that the breakup has in fact occurred.
It is about snapping out of denial.
In most boyfriend and girlfriend breakup incidences, it is easier to do when you are the party to the relationship who is "dumping the other.
" It is harder to do when you are the party in the relationship who has been, for lack of a better term, "dumped.
" In either case, you have to accept that the breakup has taken place, and if all signs point to it, accept that you may never get your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back.
The second step to healing after a major breakup is "forgiving".
Depending on how you frame the situation, an "at-fault" party, the one who led to the breakup, will emerge in your thinking.
Depending on your psychological makeup, you may feel more inclined to either heap all the blame for the breakup on yourself, or on the other party.
Whichever the case, you need to forgive; for to be human is to err.
Forgiving does not mean convincing yourself that what was done was "alright" if it was not.
Forgiving is just about acknowledging the mistake (whoever made it, even if it is you)- and then consciously letting go of it from your heart.
The third step to healing after a major breakup is "moving on.
" This can turn out to be the most difficult part of the healing process after a boyfriend and girlfriend breakup incident, especially where the relationship was an intense one, in which you had built hope.
Yet you have to move on, if you are to heal.
Moving on is about taking control of your mind, and proactively reducing the amount of time you spend thinking of your (now) EX, and the particular incident that precipitated the breakup.
It is also about finding other people who you can spend your time with, if you are the sociable type of person.
And at the appropriate time, when you have completely overcome your "ex," it is about getting someone else to take the ex's part in your heart.
In reality there is always a possibility of reconciliation with your now ex.
You must determine in your heart if you are willing to endure what is necessary to reunite and form a stronger