Can I get my boyfriend back? Is that what's going through your mind and it seems like about 1,000 times per day? It's a good question to ask yourself.
You may be obsessing about it.
Not good.
Let's get started.
First off, do some serious soul searching.
Do you really want him back? Weigh the pros and cons.
Is that what you really want? This will be the most important question you need to answer before we go any further.
I said, serious soul searching.
That means you spend some important time considering everything you can think of.
That's only something you can do.
It involves your heart.
Give yourself at least three to four days to roll it around in your mind and your heart.
Our first thoughts are usually selfish thoughts.
Thoughts like, we don't want to loose him because we'll feel like a failure.
We don't want to feel bad about our self (see the selfish aspect).
We ask ourselves, "What am I going to do now"? (again a selfish question).
We need to make an adjustment in our thinking.
Consider him.
How is he feeling.
Is he feeling like a looser? Is he asking himself, "What am I going to do now"? You'll need to make the decision to look outside of yourself before you have any further contact with him.
Another direction of thought we might have in this situation is one of retaliation.
Asking yourself, "How can I get back at him? What can I do to make him feel bad?" Here's where you need to go.
I'm presuming you've come to the conclusion you do want to get him back.
The path you want to be on is the path of peace.
Peace with yourself and peace with him.
When you talk with him let him come away from the conversation thinking, "She really is a nice and caring person.
" Can you see how that would be a whole lot more positive and if you spoke with him as if you were carrying a grudge and were trying to retaliate for the breakup.
You'll do far more the improve the chances for reconciliation with sweetness and understanding then trying to make him feel bad.
Chances are, he already does feel bad.
Don't add to the problem, try to heal it.
Okay, you've set that stage.
Now it's time for curtain up.
Let the music begin.
If more the a week has past since the breakup and you've not heard from him, it's time for you to make a call to him.
Don't send a text message, email, or a letter, call him.
Before making the call, decide what you're going to say.
Not necessarily the exact words, but the main points you want in steer to.
The call should be no longer the five minutes so you don't have to list a lot of points.
The main thing will be your attitude.
It should be one of caring about his feelings more than yours.
You'll want to know if he's okay and let him know you're okay (it you are).
Don't lie.
Be perfectly honest.
If you've had a hard time, let him know you've been sad but you're working your way through it.
If it's convenient during the conversation, let him know about one of the things you did together which you remember because it was such an enjoyable time.
That will help him see the positive side of you.
Many of the things one or both of the parties to the relationship do are very counter productive.
Often, what seems like the right thing to do can, in fact, make the chances for repairing the relationship worse.
Something a seemingly little like having a half hour or hour phone conversation right after the breakup can often make matters worse.
There are thousands of breakups occurring every day.
Many of them are healed and reconciled because at least one party has taken seriously, to get back together.
It's my greatest desire that what I've covered above will help you and he reconcile your differences and get back together.