She left.
That's what has been so hard to accept.
You want to win your ex girl back, so why would you want no contact after the breakup? You're probably saying: "that makes no sense.
" You're right; it's not logical but it works.
Let's think about this.
She cannot miss you if you're calling her, sending her texts, giving her gifts and/or driving by her house.
She needs some time to wonder if her breaking up with you is a mistake.
If you stay away for a while and go on about your life, she will see you as a strong, confident male and become more attracted to you.
Then she'll start thinking things like: "Gee, maybe he's out there dating.
Maybe I'm letting go of a really good guy.
" There is something very good about a separation.
It allows each of you to think more clearly about your feelings.
In the best case scenario, you can have the space to assess your part in the relationship's failure.
After all, you have no control over her.
You only have control over you: what you say and what you do--from this point forward.
As a result, subsequent conversations have a chance to be really different and move you back towards one another.
With some time apart and no contact, she will have time to experience what life would be like without you.
This can be a good thing.
She may not like it as much as she thought she would like it.
The downside of contacting her too soon includes the following: She may lose respect for you.
It's easy for you to look desperate if you're reaching out to her continuously.
This will kill her attraction to you.
Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
You will lose credibility with her.
It's not realistic to change yourself so quickly.
If you take some time and look at yourself, you will make much more of a positive impression on her.
Of course, you really need to be making those changes if you want to get your ex back.
So one of your biggest considerations will be: "Do I want to change those things that she doesn't like? Or Am I happy with me and don't really want to change?" If you pretend to have changed instantly, she may deduce that you'll say anything because you just don't want to be alone.
So, make no contact after a breakup, for at least 2 weeks.
This is absolutely critical, if you want to get back together.
You need to open a path for her to come back toward you.
She will come toward you if you allow it.
Control and manipulation will not work for the long term.
You may think you have control, if she comes back out of guilt.
She feels badly for hurting you.
Guilt could make her come back for the short term, but she won't stay.