If you breakup with her, can you then be friends with your ex? When breakups are amicable, one or both of you asks "Can't we still be friends?" Although it's not universally so, for many couples the answer is yes.
Of course, being friends with your ex means the possibility remains open that you might get back together, but this cannot be the reason to be friends.
So how can one be "just friends" with an ex after a breakup? You'll find that these five tips will be a big help.
Being Friends With an Ex Tip #1: You must start putting your lives together as single people, and that includes forgiving each other.
Don't think that you can be "just friends" if you're harboring a grudge against her.
This is your first step toward becoming "just friends" with her - don't try to raise the issue of the failed relationship with her.
Leave behind the issues and problems of the past and concentrate on the future.
Bringing up the past will do no good, and will probably do a great deal of harm.
Being Friends With an Ex Tip#2: You need to accept that the romance is finished.
The relationship is over and she's no longer your girlfriend.
You've simply got to accept that fact.
You've got to let the relationship go completely and accept the fact that the most you can be with her is "just friends.
" Reconciliation is the real goal most men have when they agree to be "just friends" with their ex.
If you're going to make a real friendship work, though, you have to drop the romance.
Don't get jealous when you see her with another guy.
How would you feel, for example, if she got jealous when she saw you with another woman? Being Friends With an Ex Tip# 3: Don't expect miracles overnight.
Healing doesn't happen in an instant! You must honor your ex's wishes, even if she doesn't want what you want.
This point is crucial! Let her know that you're available to talk to whenever she wants - she may change her mind once some time's gone by and she's gotten over some of her pain.
Frankly, it'd be tough, immediately after a breakup, to have a friendship with your ex.
This point is critical - you must not try to start making a friendship with her while you're still hurting.
Being Friends With an Ex Tip#4: Calling and texting her frequently will send the wrong message.
Calling and texting all the time are for romantic relationships, not "just friends.
" It would send the signal that you're looking for a relationship of more than "just friends.
" If you insist on trying to contact her all the time, count on her feeling smothered and pulling away from you.
So don't overdo it.
Call her every now and then, and text her, but overall, keep your distance.
Being Friends With an Ex Tip#5: Finally, if you want to be her friend, treat her like one.
Gifts and cards and special treats are for girlfriends.
Not "just friends.
" If you want a platonic relationship with her, treat her the same way you do other women with whom you have platonic relationships.
If you just treat her like you would any of your other friends, you'll be able to make it through the potentially awkward phase that follows the breakup.
If you want to be friends with your ex, though, that has to be the goal.
If you want to use a friendship as a steppingstone to getting back together as a couple, you'll probably fail at both.
If a strong friendship results, great! Those qualities that prompted you to try to get to know her better are still there.
Your life is the most important thing for you to deal with, though, and if it works out that she's not going to be part of it, either as a girlfriend or friend, accept it and move on.
If it's not to be, it's not to be.
You know that you can live well without her in your life.
Look forward to whatever life has in store and be happy!