If you need to get over a broken heart, you're perhaps wondering whether it's possible to get your ex back. This is often the case, as generally, after a long term relationship, you are both much more dependent on each other than you think. The question is whether you can undo the damage that has taken place and re-cultivate love, friendship and passion. This will not happen overnight and you need to take a long term approach as it may take time to get back in the "good books" of your former partner.

If you want to get your ex back, the best place to start is always by getting your own life together. If you're a gibbering emotional wreck then you are not going to win back his or her respect and love. Start putting your social life back together, in the knowledge that, if you can do this, you stand a much better chance of getting back the one you love. Even if it feels hopeless at first, your improved social interaction is going to help you to get over a broken heart.

If you start getting out and about and having fun again, news will get back to your ex. You can help this process along by making sure that word gets out amongst mutual friends that you are happy and having fun. Don't overdo this though. Hopefully, this will make your ex wonder if you are over them and it will probably get them worrying, especially if they have been used to your dependence on them up to now. Having a break from each other will help you both feel better and your ex may even start to miss you enough to want you back.

Once your ex has had some space from you and knows that your social life is flourishing, you can start to rebuild your friendship and trust. Before you can do this, you will need to make sure you have got to the stage where you're not going to be tempted to lose your cool emotionally or discuss what went wrong in your relationship. You are going to have to be emotionally strong.

When the time is right, you will need to find a way to make contact with him or her. This should not seem contrived. Try and make it as natural as possible. Keep it short and friendly and be pleased to see or speak to your ex.

If you get the chance, bring up the good times you had and get them missing those times they spent with you. If you stir up good emotions in them they may start to have some regrets about the split, whereas if you bring up the bad times, they will probably be glad it is over. It is therefore really important to make sure you are in control of yourself before you initiate any contact.

When you have that contact, make sure you do more listening than talking and start to re-cultivate that emotional dependence. As they learn to trust and respect you again, hopefully those old feelings will resurface. Keep everything enjoyable and light hearted and save any analysis of what went wrong for when you are back in the relationship. Don't push to get the relationship back together. Concentrate on making it fun. It's about quality not quantity. You will need to proceed slowly to build up trust and avoid scaring them off.

If you get another chance at dating, look on it as a new relationship and start again right from the beginning. Rebuild and repair and above all, don't repeat the mistakes of last time around. If you don't make it a different relationship this time, you won't be able to succeed any more than you did first time around. Be strong, take it slowly and you can get over a broken heart and get your ex back.