Among the most stressful things you will experience more than once in your lifetime are, moving, loss of a job, death of a loved one and the break up of a very significant relationship.
Each of these can lead to depression, anger or stress-related illness.
Anyone who has been through a break up can tell you that it is devastating.
We all accept that it's inevitable that we'll lose a loved one, that at some point we'll lose a job that we love or that we'll move to a new home.
This is not to minimize the stress that each of those experiences can bring about, but to say that we are usually equipped to handle them.
However, one of the things that makes us feel secure in life is the love we give and receive from our partner.
In fact, we can face the inevitable stresses associated with life when we know that our significant other is there to hold our hand.
But what happens when that person we've come to rely on is suddenly gone? He or she has decided to end the relationship and you have no idea why.
That security blanket is gone and all you can think of is winning your ex back, right? Before you do something reactionary, if you really want to succeed at winning your ex back, please consider the advice I am going to share with you.
I base this on personal experience.
Our tendency is to hound our ex, call, beg, and plead your case.
If we can simply show him or her what they're missing or remind them how wonderful we are is what we tell ourselves is the reason for begging.
Your ex has left you for a reason, though you may not be ware of what the reason is at the moment.
Your ex doesn't want to and shouldn't have to hear you crying and begging.
Your actions will only serve to achieve the opposite affect of what you desire - pushing your ex further away.
The next phased of "dealing" is that you'll find yourself either rationalizing or blaming.
Do neither, but rather self analyze.
Consider that your past behaviors may have played a part in the demise of your relationship.
If your ex hasn't offered you specific reasons, it's best to assume something or a series of things you did drove your ex to leave.
Admitting is half the battle, now the real work begins.
Once you've figured out the likely culprit, figure out ways to ensure this behavior doesn't surface again.
Whether you're successful at winning your ex back or not, you don't want to carry this behavior into your next relationship.
This may take some time.
Remember, the behavior didn't take on a life of its own overnight.
Now that you've done what you could to ensure that the behavior doesn't resurface, call your ex.
Ask whether you can meet.
Initially he or she may be reluctant.
Your ex may flatly say no.
Don't push.
Try again in a few weeks or months and this time explain that you've done a lot of soul searching and have identified the cause of the break up.
If you get a "well," you've at least got your foot in the door.
When you meet, thank your ex for meeting you.
Explain, not plead, your case.
Keep the focus on you and your behaviors.
Your ex is not without fault of course, but projecting is not going to make the conversation go well.
Let him or her go home and think about things.
These are really the only things I know that can work in winning your ex back.