When you go through a divorce there is a proper time for grieving.
The length of time needed is different for everyone.
At some point you need to shake it off, get a new attitude and start moving forward in your life.
Don't let "divorce" become the central theme of your life.
Realize you need to quit hanging onto your marriage, your past.
It is amazing how many people that get divorced hold onto the past, to bitterness, and anger.
Years after their divorce they are still talking about it, thinking about it, focusing on what used to be, what could have been, if only...
It is really sad to see people waste their lives being stuck in the past.
They go along wondering why life has not gotten any better.
If this is you, you need to learn to let go of the dream, the disappointment, the sense of failure you may feel from your divorce.
God has a new plan in store for you, but first you must let go of the past.
God can take your divorce and bring good out of it, if you will let him.
I am sure you can find some good things already, if you really think about it.
I can honestly say that I am a better person because of my divorce.
God moved me away from all of my family and friends.
When my marriage problems surfaced, I really had no one else but Him to turn to for strength and encouragement.
Going through my marriage problems is what truly brought me into relationship with God.
Only when you realize and accept the fact that you cannot change the past, are you free to move forward.
You also need to forgive your ex-spouse, your self and any others that may have been involved.
Forgiveness is releasing your anger, bitterness and hurt, turning it over to God.
Forgiveness is not saying you agree with what happened or that what happened was okay.
You surrender your anger, bitterness and hurt to God.
He is your vindicator and judge.
It is not up to you to judge or repay evils done to you.
What you CAN do is make the decision (yes, it's a choice) to have a right attitude.
God has new things, dreams, and plans in store for you.
See the end of your marriage as the opportunity for a new beginning.
God has not given up on you.
He knows you have made mistakes.
He knows you may have been treated unfairly.
Yet, He still has a plan for your life.
Do you realize you are unique? Do you know that you have something to offer the world that no one else has? Don't let divorce leave you stuck in a pity party, believing your life will never get any better.
Don't sit around asking your self, "Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?" No, you need to realize you are a child ofGod.
You can do whatever you need to do.
God created you to do something special.
He has given you everything you need to fulfill your purpose.
It is time to start believing and pressing forward.
Now is the time to uncover the gifts, talents, dreams, passions and desires that God has placed inside of you.
Maybe over time your marriage has buried your qualities and potential beneath discouragement, disappointment, failure, fears, negative voices telling you your life is over, no one else will ever want you, you will never amount to anything.
Don't believe the lie.
Post divorce is the perfect time to do some soul searching, reflecting and discovering of who you really are.
Take the time to figure out the real "You.
" The person God created you to be.
Don't just sit back and take life as it comes.
Explore the dreams, passions, desires, gifts and talents that God has placed in you.
Seek Him and His direction for your life.
Give yourself permission to believe and perceive the good things God has in store for you.
I am sure you have heard that when God closes a door, He opens another one.
Don't let disappointment and discouragement keep you from moving forward.
Keep pressing forward.
At some point you have to quit talking about your divorce.
Quit reliving your divorce and every bad thing that has ever happened to you.
It takes time, but learn to control your thoughts.
Focus on the future and believe God for good things.
Choose to keep moving forward.
Develop a positive "can do" attitude.
Be an overcomer.
Write out some of your favorite scriptures of God's promises on index cards.
Put them on your refrigerator, your bathroom mirror, on your desk, in your purse, in your car.
Read them out loud several times a day.
Control what you think about.
When negative thoughts start to creep in, read your index cards.
Make a list of positive affirmations about yourself, about your future, about God's Word.
Memorize them and repeat them to yourself throughout the day.
I challenge you to give it a try and see what a difference this will make in your attitude and ability to move forward.