How to Improve Self Worth After Abuse
- 1
A abuser wants control.Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com/Getty Images
Recognize the abuse. Your abuser wants total control over you and your relationship, dictating who you can see, where you can go, what you can wear and whether you are allowed to work outside the home. He justifies hurting you, by telling you he is punishing you for something you did. - 2
Find a safe place with people you can trust.Marili Forastieri/Digital Vision/Getty Images
End the relationship. You are in the most danger when you decide it is time for you and your children to leave. When you decide it is time to leave, find a safe place, such as a domestic violence shelter or the home of someone you trust. It make take a long time for you to recognize that you and your children have been victimized by domestic violence. Until you make this realization, you will not be able to move past the abuse and realize your true self worth. - 3
You may need to change your phone number in order to break contact.Thomas Northcut/Photodisc/Getty Images
Break all contact with your abuser. This includes phone, social networking sites, email, texting and messages from his family or friends to you. Change all of your email and social networking logins, so he cannot regain contact with you. - 4
Learn to love yourself.Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images
Recognize your worth and begin moving forward. Don't blame yourself for the abuse you were subjected to -- it is not your fault your abuser hit you -- no matter what he told you. "You need to reassure yourself that now you will provide that unconditional nurturance and acceptance which is fundamental not only for healthy adult self-regard but for warm, fulfilling relationships as well," says Dr. Leon F. Seltzer. - 5
Seek professional help.Stockbyte/Stockbyte/Getty Images
Contact a professional therapist and begin working with her to address your shame and guilt, especially if you are having a difficult time learning not to blame yourself. Depending on how long your relationship with your abuser lasted, you may have a hard time learning to live an abuse-free life. Your counselor helps you look at your life, so you can learn to make healthier choices, as you explore past behavior patterns. Your counselor's goal is to help you learn to manage your life and the post-abuse difficulties you may encounter.
Source...