How to Cope With a Supervisor You Do Not Respect
- 1). Recognize bad behavior as weakness. Whether you see your supervisor as lazy, a bully, dismissive, rude, arrogant or immature, each trait is a sign of weakness. According to psychotherapist Roni Weisberg-Ross, a bully is someone who wants to break you down by minimizing you. A bully or rude boss may lack proper communication skills, a lazy supervisor may feel so overwhelmed with her duties that she doesn't know where to begin. The point is, your supervisor's faults are her's alone. Your job is to handle how you allow them to impact you.
- 2). Count to 10 before you speak. It is tough for most humans to control their tongues when frustrated. If your supervisor says something so inane or off-putting to you that you'd like to verbally decimate him, give yourself a 10-count break before responding. Even then, it's more important that you retain your dignity than to give him a tongue lashing, regardless of how well-deserved it seems. Coworkers are sure to notice and to respect your restraint.
- 3). Point out a problem only if you have a potential solution to offer. It is likely that one of the reasons you don't respect your supervisor in the first place is that she's ineffectual. If you're going to go to her with a problem in your department, also prepare at least one or two potential "fixes" for the problem and ask her if she'd like you to help her implement them. It certainly feels counter-intuitive to offer help to someone you don't like, but remember, her shortcomings are due to personal weaknesses that have nothing to do with you.
- 4). Go directly to the supervisor for a sit-down discussion. Regardless of how big a fool your supervisor has been on the job, go to him for a professional conversation that covers your concerns and potential solutions. Involve him in the solution process by asking if he has any ideas for overcoming your concerns. Be specific yourself so that he are forced to come up with specific answers. For example, you may say, "I'm concerned when I schedule office meetings and you're one-half hour late. The entire department has to wait. Do you have any idea of how we can come up with a solution that works for all of us?" Give him the opportunity to step up and take some responsibility for the problem. Above all, do not gossip to anyone else in the office about your boss. It doesn't help the situation and leaves you looking petty.
- 5). Focus on controlling your own behavior. As you move through the steps of trying to work with your difficult supervisor, keep your attention focused on the things you have control over. You alone determine how you're going to behave at work, how much effort you're going to put into your job and the attitude you're going to exude. You can't do a thing about a supervisor who behaves poorly, so until you can either make inroads with the situation or change jobs, your most healthful approach is to behave in such a way that you feel good about yourself.
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