Top 3 Most Overrated Sports
Okay sports fans, let's get real here.
Some sports are boring.
As much as you hate do admit it, most of the fun is having an excuse to eat an entire plate of nachos by yourself and get plastered at 12 noon on a Sunday.
There are some people who really understand the nuances of the game - maybe your buddy who played in college, or your nerdy brother who has spent his entire life analyzing baseball stats.
But for most people, they stare at the brand new high definition screen and see some sweaty guys running or bashing into each other or hitting balls of various shapes with different kinds of sticks and rackets.
So, to kill sometime before you go on a beer run, here are the Top 3 Most Overrated Sports.
1.
Football College football is bearable.
Plays last for more than seven seconds, and there are exciting runs and breakaways.
Professional football, on the other hand, is just a bunch of guys who would be considered morbidly obese in any other profession giving each other concussions and broken ribs while the leaner quarterbacks and wide receivers date pop stars and land lucrative sponsorship contracts.
The rare exciting plays that occur when a running back manages to penetrate the line of manatee-sized human beings standing between him and the End Zone are few and far between, and are so frequently interrupted by beer commercials that any momentum is totally dissipated.
2.
Hockey For those in the frozen northern states, hockey is a way of life.
One can imagine that skating back and forth on an indoor ice rink really quickly for 60 minutes is a good way to keep warm, but it doesn't make for exciting television.
Before high definition TV, it was nearly impossible for the home viewer to see the puck as it zoomed across the rink.
And with an average of one or two goals per game, excitement is hard to come by.
That's probably why there's so much fighting - the players simply get bored.
Unfortunately, with all that padding, even the most heated brawls seem to happen in slow motion, making the viewer yearn for the electric skin-to-skin jabs of professional boxing.
Yawn.
3.
Baseball Does this one even need an explanation? Baseball has to be the dullest sport imaginable.
It's just nine innings of guys with big buts hitting a ball with a stick and running in a perpetual diamond shape around a clay field.
Both teams spend more than half of their time sitting on the bench, drinking sports beverages and spitting disgusting wads of tobacco.
And even when they are playing, the outfielders literally stand in place for most of the game! Die-hard fans seem to care more about how much the rival team sucks more than the game itself.
And owning season's tickets is more of a display of wealth than a dedication to the sport.
It seems that baseball was invented so that beer companies could get rich charging Americans with heat stroke $12 for a watery beer in them middle of the afternoon.
Some sports are boring.
As much as you hate do admit it, most of the fun is having an excuse to eat an entire plate of nachos by yourself and get plastered at 12 noon on a Sunday.
There are some people who really understand the nuances of the game - maybe your buddy who played in college, or your nerdy brother who has spent his entire life analyzing baseball stats.
But for most people, they stare at the brand new high definition screen and see some sweaty guys running or bashing into each other or hitting balls of various shapes with different kinds of sticks and rackets.
So, to kill sometime before you go on a beer run, here are the Top 3 Most Overrated Sports.
1.
Football College football is bearable.
Plays last for more than seven seconds, and there are exciting runs and breakaways.
Professional football, on the other hand, is just a bunch of guys who would be considered morbidly obese in any other profession giving each other concussions and broken ribs while the leaner quarterbacks and wide receivers date pop stars and land lucrative sponsorship contracts.
The rare exciting plays that occur when a running back manages to penetrate the line of manatee-sized human beings standing between him and the End Zone are few and far between, and are so frequently interrupted by beer commercials that any momentum is totally dissipated.
2.
Hockey For those in the frozen northern states, hockey is a way of life.
One can imagine that skating back and forth on an indoor ice rink really quickly for 60 minutes is a good way to keep warm, but it doesn't make for exciting television.
Before high definition TV, it was nearly impossible for the home viewer to see the puck as it zoomed across the rink.
And with an average of one or two goals per game, excitement is hard to come by.
That's probably why there's so much fighting - the players simply get bored.
Unfortunately, with all that padding, even the most heated brawls seem to happen in slow motion, making the viewer yearn for the electric skin-to-skin jabs of professional boxing.
Yawn.
3.
Baseball Does this one even need an explanation? Baseball has to be the dullest sport imaginable.
It's just nine innings of guys with big buts hitting a ball with a stick and running in a perpetual diamond shape around a clay field.
Both teams spend more than half of their time sitting on the bench, drinking sports beverages and spitting disgusting wads of tobacco.
And even when they are playing, the outfielders literally stand in place for most of the game! Die-hard fans seem to care more about how much the rival team sucks more than the game itself.
And owning season's tickets is more of a display of wealth than a dedication to the sport.
It seems that baseball was invented so that beer companies could get rich charging Americans with heat stroke $12 for a watery beer in them middle of the afternoon.
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