One of the great mysteries of my life has been "why do some public restrooms or hand-washing stations leave sodden rolls of paper towels near the water dispensing faucets, allowing them to soak up dirty water, germs, and horrid, life-threatening diseases?" Admittedly, I have dispensed with a great many other mysteries of life, and have moved on to less engaging mysteries, but, nonetheless, I wonder about these things. It makes no sense at all to leave paper towels out to get wet and nasty by less-than-hygienic users. Really, though, I, for one, am almost completely deterred from coming within arm's reach of any roll of brown, scratchy paper towels which have assumed a place in the public tavern restroom near any body of water, moving or otherwise. The crowning achievement of this sort of negligence or malice is when a roll of paper towels sits atop a men's urinal in the men's restroom. Certainly, it may be within easy reach of the sink after hand-washing, but two thoughts spring to mind in these events. First, most people do not wash their hands, anyways, after using the restroom, and as such the paper towels and their strategic placement constitutes little more than very poor decor. Secondly, the chances of my ever touching any object which has ever rested atop a men's room urinal is slightly less than my chances of finally achieving my dream of working as a United States astronaut. The latter, I should mention, is almost completely out of the question. At the age of 36, with poor spatial-mechanical skills and requiring some thought before knowing which way to turn a wrench or screwdriver, Vegas could set some very favorable odds my ever achieving a low orbit experience.

Paper towels, though, are the topic of the day, and as such, I feel compelled to issue the following support for hand towel dispensers: they are cleaner, safer, more hygienic and simply more tasteful than the aforementioned sodden roll of infected paper products. Hand towel dispensers are typically mounted a few feet above the sink or hand-washing station, safe from contamination from filthy hands and the sordid environment in which they perform their intended duties. Hand towel dispensers are bolted securely to the restroom walls, an important consideration, as any plastic and metal dispenser of precious paper towels left free to be moved about the environment is almost certain to not only accumulate significant amounts of germs, dirt and grease, but will, by some inebriated fellow, certainly experience a dip in to the urinal, toilet or some other collection of horrors throughout the course of its lifespan.

It seems like a strange thing obsess over, granted. Nonetheless, we all have our passions. Some people collect baseball cards, volunteer in their communities, work hard, raise families and live good lives. I worry about hygiene, and pay careful attention to the where and how of washing my hands a great many times daily. In public places, the presence of simple and seemingly-innocuous hand towel dispensers removes a great weight from my obsessive-compulsive shoulders.